iHeart You
by WEwantMOREriceCAKES
Summary: Most people get money, presents, cards, cakes, and socks for their birthdays. But not Naruto.


**A/N: **

This is my first fanfic, and I'm kinda nervous. I don't write a lot of detail, unless I'm really in a good mood.

The plot is kinda based on _Chobits_ and _Absolute Boyfriend_. (Both amazing mangas) But not entirely. Since this is a Naruto fanfic its gonna be different. So the entire story isn't really just like those mangas.

**Rating:** T (may go up, maybe)

**Summary:** Most people get money, presents, cards cakes, and socks for their birthdays. But not Naruto.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**---**

Chapter 1

--

Today was suppose to be a happy day. A day of celebration. You know? Like hanging out with your closest buds, drinking and getting wasted with every random person you meet, stuffing your face with the sweety goodness of the delectable cake you get while is everyone singing to you 'Happy Birthday to you!', also recieving countless amounts of perfectly wrapped present (with an occasional card filled with money) and one of the best parts, getting a "special" surprise from your girlfriend. (if you know what I mean.)

That's what birthdays are suppose to be. Well, at least in Naruto's definition of birthdays, they are. The celebration filled with happiness.

But sadly no. That's not what today is like. It's dark and gloomy for this whiskered boy.

Unfortunately for Naruto Uzumaki, is now sitting at a bar sulking away in depression. No bestest buds chilling with you, no getting wasted with random people, no 'Happy Birthday' songs either or even cake for that matter. And no girlfriend.

_Man, life sucks…_ Thought the slouching blonde. His arms laid out on the counter, with his head face down. The cold glassed beer sweated beads of waters, dripping onto his hands and the slow sounds of the blues played throughout the bar. Naruto mumbled to himself a bit then chug the entire glass, leaving nothing but melted ice. The bartender just shook his head a and pitied the poor fellow.

"Aaanother…glaaasss puh-leeease…," the drunk blonde slurred. He slowly raised his head at his server and looked at him with weary eyes.

"Listen, kid. I think you had enough for one night," The bartender wisely said. He reached over and took the now empty glass. "I think you should call up a friend to take you home. Call it a night," he continued to advise.

"'Tis only half paaasst…midnight ," Naruto whined. The bartender just shook his head and walked away talking to himself about 'the youth these days'.

---

Being drunk, and heavily dizzy, Naruto fell against his apartment door and remained there. He had just been kicked out of the bar he recently was in. Apparently they didn't like the way he was "bothering" the other customers, or the way he was trying to "entertain" the people while being in this very state.

Somehow, people didn't find it amusing to see a drunken man making a pitiful impersonation of Jack Sparrow in _The Pirates of the Caribbean_.

Blame it on the alcohol.

Blame it on people who didn't know good entertainment when they see it.

Now Naruto was truly pissed off when everyone began booing him off the table he stood on. He began to feel unappreciative again, and went into his state of depression once more.

Fairly soon, rain started pouring down. Naruto just blankly stared out, observing the dripping water fall onto the wet concrete.

It was Friday, October 10th and here is Naruto Uzumaki, age 22, sitting in front of his apartment door, drunk in the cold rain.

"What a way to spend a birthday!" Naruto laughed to himself. He raised his arms in the air, as if he just didn't care, and like any happy drunk Naruto began singing.

"Happy birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me!" Naruto sang. "…Happy Birthday Naruto…happy birthday to me…" Naruto kept singing for a few more moments then slumped back onto the wall. With a slight smile, he laughed at himself once more and slowly his eyelids drooped.

At 12:54 a.m. Naruto laid there sleeping in the cold weather, dreaming of what it would be like to hang out with his bestest buds, getting wasted with random people who want to enjoy this special occasion, eating sweet delicious cake, having everyone sing the birthday song to you, recieving gift wrapped presents,and have your girlfriend spend this celebration with you.

The day where everything should be perfect.

So yeah, Naruto didn't feel like waking up at all.

---

It wasn't until 10:14 a.m. when the whiskered boy awakened from his slumber. He stretched out his arms and legs in a cat like manner and gave a big yawn.

"Hrrrmmph…" He mumbled. Naruto stood up, with his hand on the doorknob for support, and began searching for his keys to his apartment.

The apartment welcomed him with a cool breeze, but a sight of displeasure. Dirty laundry laid unattended on the kitchen counter, ramen cups overfilled the trash cans, dirty dishes cluttered in the sink, dust particles gathered upon the floor and furniture, the television was still on and books were laying around everywhere. He looked over to his work place and saw mountains of papers just waiting to be signed. And right in front of him laid a slice of pizza, with the toppings of pepperoni, cheese, mushrooms, pineapple, and a bit of mold here and there. Oh and a six foot box laid right smack in the middle of the hallway.

A truly terrible sight to-

"What the hell?" Naruto lazily stared at the unusual alien-ish box in the middle of his apartment. The object stood around six feet tall and four feet wide. It was covered with white wrapping paper, and was decorated with a bright blue bow. Tie to the bow was a tag. Naruto walked over and look at it. It read:

_To Naruto,_

_Well, here you go._

_Enjoy._

"What? No name, no return address?" Naruto grumbled at the box. With caution, the blonde crept around the alien object and poke the wrapping paper timidly. Naruto examined the box with such intensity that his head began hurting. To his final conclusion Naruto agreed that the box was a-ok. Naruto reached out and slowly pulled the bow, making it untie itself. The silk ribbon fell onto the floor with a light _poof!_

"The hell with it,"The blonde ravenously ripped the paper apart. Piece by piece the wrapping revealed a brown box. Naruto laid the box down to the floor and pulled out a pocket knife from the kitchen. After slicing open the box, there revealed a wrapped object covered in what seems to be a million tissue paper. On it was a remote-like box and piece of paper that read "MANUAL".

Naruto took the remote and the piece of paper from the box and began to carefully read the instructions.

"Step 1: Turn on the remote and hit the 'settings' button. Follow the instructions given from the remote." Naruto curiously look at the remote in his hand. It was gray and fairly light. The only operating switches were 'On/Off' and 'Settings'. Naruto followed the piece of paper and selected the 'settings' key.

"_Welcome, and thank you for purchasing our product,"_ The fox boy jumped at the sudden sound. He furrowed his eyes brows and looked at the remote with surprise.

"Umm…hello?" Naruto whispered to it like it was alive. He tapped the device a few times and shook it.

"_Let's begin. Please say your name loud and clearly into the microphone programmed in this remote," _The curious fox boy stared at the screen a bit longer then, complied.

"Okay…ahem. Naruto," The fox boy obediently complied.

"_Please repeat,"_ the remote asked again.

"Naruto."

"_Please repeat more loudly and clearly," _the remote asked once more.

"Naruto."

"_Please repeat."_

"Naruto…"

"_Please repeat loud and clearly."_

"Na-ru-to….."

_"Please repeat loud and clearly."_

"NA-RU-TO!"

"_Please repeat-"_

"NARUTO!" Naruto shouted into the remote. He was getting annoyed.

"_Please spell out your name, and repeat it 3 more times,"_ the remote said.

"N-A-R-U-T-O, NARUTO NARUTO NARUTO! Dammit!" The blonde yelled at the inanimate object, feeling like an insane person for talking to a remote.

"_Thank you. Please wait while the data is being processed." _The remote said. Naruto just stared at the remote and waited patiently. But he soon got bored and continue to read the instructions.

"Step 2: After completing the settings task, please wait until the data is done processing then press the On/Off key…Okay I'm already doing that," Naruto skipped onto the next step. "Step 3: Enjoy your purchase- What the heck is that suppose to mean?" Naruto glanced at the winking smiley sticker at the bottom of the page. Underneath the winking smiley was a WARNING note. It read:

**WARNING: There is an EXTREME high possibility of becoming pregnant.**

"WHAT?!" Naruto stared at the words 'extreme' and 'high' and 'pregnant'. He crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it behind him. "What the heck is that suppose to mean... male-pregnancy...screw that..." Naruto grumbled embarassingly to himself.

"_Thank you for waiting, you may now press the On/Off button and enjoy your purchase!" _Naruto turned his attention back at the remote. He looked at the gray button and guided his thumb over it. The thumb glided over the on button hesitantly. Sweat began forming at the tip of his chin.

_Should I press it? _Naruto asked himself. He looked down at the remote with a wide-eye expression.

_Yes you should._ A voice kept echoing in his mind. _What could possibly happen? You getting pregnant, psshh, yeah right._

_Do it! _

_Do it! _

_Do it!_

_Do it! _

_Do it!_

"Alright fine!" Naruto slammed his thumb down onto the button. A few seconds passed by and nothing. Naruto stared down at the remote again and press the button one more. A sudden beeping sound filled the room. Naruto glanced at the box to see the wrapped object rustling and moving on its own. "Crap." Naruto bit his lip and began scooting far, far away from the box.

The thing was coming alive!

The object slowly rose and stood up from the box. Its feet appeared from beneath the wrapping. Soon some arms and legs ripped out of the wrapping as well. The object began ripping the tissue paper off, and a figure appeared right before the slightly, ok alarmingly, frightened Naruto. It finally ripped off the last piece of wrapping from its head, and a pair of coal-black eyes stared right into Naruto's ocean blue ones. The object, more like man, towered over Naruto…

Starched naked.

He casually walked over to the frightened boy and kneel down eye-to-eye level. He took Naruto's hand gently and brought it up to his lips, sweetly brushing them against Naruto's skin. The man looked up and stared closely at Naruto with lustful eyes.

"Hello Naruto-sama. How may I serve you?" he deviously smirked.

---

Review!


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